Puppies Suck

No this is not about fruit ninja, or a blog about being a ninja or anything related to ninjaing. If this bothers you, THEN GO READ SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG!!!

*AHEM* Now that that's out of the way...let the grumpiness begin.

Puppies. They suck. I know, because I have one. Mine is currently all bundled up sleeping on my lap as I write this. I can hear you know "Oh that's so cute!!". Is it though? Sure it looks cute but the truth is her hair is getting all over the place, her puppy dander is all over me and unless you pay the 2 million dollars a month for flea medicine, you probably have those gross little bastards jumping all over you and drinking in your blood. Imagine if you will 2 fleas, laying out on a chair made of your hair and skin follicles, enjoying life. Oh listen! They are having a conversation!

Flea #1: Jolly good vintage ah what old chap?
Flea #2: For sure, my wife and 40,000 flea babies are loving it!
Flea #3: Have you guys seen the vacation package ol' Vern is offering? 6 day cruise to the best blood sucking venues this place has to offer! Can't wait!
Flea #4: Oh look! The jerk we are living on is attempting to wash us off with soap and shampoo.
Flea #1: Good thing flea medicine is up to 2 million a box now. We don't have to worry! Tally ho!


So puppies suck almost as bad as fleas. For the record, our puppy does not have fleas, we have paid the 2 million ransom for the medicine. Then there are all the doctors trips for shots, getting fixed, "oh the puppy threw up toilet paper, she needs to go to the puppy ER!!". Well maybe if she hadn't EATEN THE WHOLE ROLL IN THE FIRST PLACE WE WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM!! It has gotten so ridiculous and expensive to even own a puppy that there is actually a hospital out there just for pets that even offer pet insurance. Re-read what I just typed. PET INSURANCE!!

Puppies are jerks as well. Ours will whimper and whine at the door. We of course think we have done such an awesome job or getting her trained,we took her to a class because for us real people in the real world there is not enough time to train our pets ourselves, we let her out, and she stands there. Looking around, half sniffing then comes back in expecting a treat. Why would you get a treat you little jerk?!? You didn't even do anything?!? It's 20 degrees outside and it's going to take 3 weeks for my balls to re-drop. Thanks allot you JERK!

I tried by best to keep this on PG since it's the first post. No guarantees any others will be though!